HELLO, I LOVE(D) YOU, GOODBYE

I’m grieving your loss
I’m mourning your choice
I’m hurting for you in my arms
But not in my heart

My heart has found spring
And is waiting for me
To catch up

I know me too well
Your comfort distracts me
I seek it to see me
Less clearly

Your hands pull me in
To embrace
And invisible tears soak my cheeks

If I love you was never an option
Then how is goodbye?

Feeling clever and calm
I breathe in
Easily

And until you next greet me
I’ll know
What I know

Hello
I love you
Goodbye

And then…….

An arrival distracts me
Dances in my mind
118 118
Gets my number

Got my attention
Into a spin
Along with my legs

Let’s get along
Get to know
Get out of this place
And into our space

Impatient
Channelling energy
Into unmentionables
Choosing to focus on not-you

Attached to detachment
Amassing beliefs
Between birthdays

I believe
In that
Which I know not

The latest learning
To linger on my lips
In my head

As the music rises
I slip out of the room
And into a quiet
Reflection

I have high hopes
For you
And I

I am high
With hope
And believing

Goodbye
I love you
Hello

 

March 2010 – Braziers Park, UK